Flour Boy and Cake-mix Girl
by JustAnotherBookNerd
Summary: Maria and Robin decide to surprise their family by cooking dinner for them, but it doesn't take long to discover that the two of them can't be trusted together in a kitchen! Based partially off of Secret of Moonacre and Little White Horse.


The plan was perfect.  
Maria had persuaded her uncle and Loveday to go for an afternoon riding session around the valley, assuring them that she would be fine with Robin, under the care of Miss Heliotrope. She had also convinced Miss Heliotrope, Digweed and Marmaduke Scarlett to go out to a spring market in the nearby farming village, explaining that they'd be fine under the care of Sir Benjamin and Loveday. It was time for her and Robin to execute their master plan.  
"So, tell me princess," asked the curly haired boy, "why exactly have you lied to your whole family just to get the house empty?" His hazel eyes began to twinkle and a smug smirk spread across his face. "Do you really want to be alone with me that badly? All you had to do was ask," he taunted, his grin growing wider with each word.  
"Don't get your hopes up, bird boy," Maria retaliated with a teasing smile on her face, "we've got work to do."  
"And what kind of work would that be, fair Lady Merryweather?" He asked in an attempted posh accent.  
"Well Sir De Noir, I thought that as seen as everyone has done so much for us these past few years, since we broke the curse, I thought that we could repay them with something."  
"And am I right in thinking princess, that as usual, you have a marvellously wonderful plan up your sleeve?"  
"Ah, you know me so well," Maria said, feigning being overwhelmed with flattery. "We, my dear Robin, are going to cook them dinner!"

"Maria, that's a great idea... but I can't help but notice one teeny, weenie, incy, wincey, little flaw."  
"What?!" she exclaimed, dumbfounded, "What could possibly go wrong?"  
"Well you see, Maria" he said gently, holding her by the shoulders, "We. Don't. Know. How. To. Cook!"  
"Ahh... Now I may see your issue" she sighed, a concerned frown contorted onto her pale, dainty face, but quickly transfigured into a beaming smile. "Well, there's no time like the present to learn! What's the worst that could happen? Besides, for all we know, it's probably in the Merryweather blood!" She smiled optimistically, as she placed a light butterfly kiss on the boy's cheek. "Come on then, bird boy," she said as she started to drag Robin down the corridor, ignoring his complaints of "cooking's DEFINITELY not in the De Noir blood" and "They're more likely to eat it raw!"

* * *

After what seemed like hours of chopping and slicing and stirring and praying that they could actually cook a meal that wouldn't give them food poisoning, they succeed in creating what seemed to be a delightfully flavoursome, edible meal that even Marmaduke would be proud of.  
"Well bird boy, I really do think that we've outdone ourselves today," Maria said from atop of the table, where she was clearing up their utensils.  
"Of course we have princess. I must say, I'm clearly a natural!"  
"Oh really? Are you trying to suggest that you did most of the work?"  
"And you, were a wonderful assistant, princess"  
"Assistant?" She questioned, as a sly look began to grow in her eyes.  
"Well, I can't take all of the credit myself now, can I?" Robin laughed, looking quite proud of his skills.  
"In that case, you wouldn't mind defending your honour as "Lead Chef" in a battle now, would you?" She asked him. Robin knew full well that she was being mischievous, but he couldn't work out yet what she was planning.  
"I suppose..?" he replied curiously.  
"Well then," she began as she surreptitiously took two meat skewers out of a cupboard. "Sir Robin De Noir, heir of the De Noir clan, I, Maria Merryweather, the last Moon princess and the saviour of Moonacre, challenge thee!" She emphasise every word as she dramatically leapt off of the table. "I challenge thee to a duel!" She produced the skewers and threw one to Robin, who caught it with ease and immediately took up a fighting stance. "Do you, De Noir, accept my request?" He looked her up and down and a smirk of confidence plastered itself on his face.  
"I accept" he state, swinging his 'sword' around in his hands. "But be warned – I shan't go easy on you. The honour of being head chef isn't something I give up easily"

* * *

The duel that then ensued wasn't the most graceful, skilful battle to say the least. Maria had little to no experience with a sword and Robin was a lot more accustomed to using a small manoeuvrable dagger, which consequently meant that they each in turn took clumsy, untactful jabs at each other, without making much process.  
"En garde!" Maria roared as she lunged towards her opponent, swinging her weapon with all of her might.  
"Aha!" Robin giggled as he managed to block his enemy's numerous attacks. "I guess I'll be keeping my ti—eurgh!" The smug smile vanished off of his face as he realise that Maria had managed to strike and disarm him in one swift motion.  
"Ha!" Maria squealed, almost falling over with laughter from the incredulous look on the bird boy's face, as his mouth morphed into a perfect O-shape. "I guess you'll just have to call me head chef then, assistant" She added pompously, imitating Robin's earlier statement.  
"NO WAY!" Robin interjected, "That was unfair! I was looking the other way and- and- and- I was going easy on you! And- and-"  
"Aww, it's okay, bird boy – I didn't realise you were such a sore loser. But you will undoubtedly be an excellent assistant" Maria laughed showing slight sympathy.  
"Who said anything about losing, princess?" he asked slyly as he began to slowly pick up the skewer, "I thought it was a best of three!" It was now his turn to charge at Maria, as he let out a bellowing battle cry – not unlike a foghorn, in all honesty. Mirroring his cry, Maria leapt on the table, gaining an advantage point in their battle, as she blocked and retaliated his attacks.  
"You really think you can beat me, De Noir? I am a Moon princess, I was born to win battles!"  
"And you think that you can beat me, Merryweather? I have been trained since birth to battle your kind, princess!"  
"Ha! Well it clearly didn't work, did it? I still managed to break the curse!"  
"But you wouldn't have been able to do it without my excellent tra-"He stopped in his track, his eyes widening as he stared at something behind Maria.  
"Robin? What's wrong?" She asked gently as she took a step towards him.  
"Look!" he said, fear spread across his face. Maria spun around, anxious to see what danger was behind them.  
"Robin..." she started, "I can't see any- HEY!" She screamed as he suddenly disarmed her and burst out laughing.  
"You tricked me!" she exclaimed, feeling cheated.  
"Yep! I tricked you! And I-ha- I- tricked you good!" he said breathlessly between laughs. "I do believe that it is one all now!"  
"But! You- You cheated! It's completely-" she stammered out, shocked at how she had managed to fall for such a simple trick, "It's just- I- You- FINE! You win this round, bird boy!"  
"Obviously ," he replied, " but I do have to admit princess, despite not having any training, you are an excellent swordsman, easily on par with at least half of the De Noir clan"  
"Obviously," she replied, mimicking her partner," and with a few months training, you could easily become just as good as I!" she teased cheekily  
"You know what, Maria? I think we should call it a truce. We are both as good chefs as each other."  
"I couldn't agree more, Robin" she said as she put on her most sweet, innocent smile to distract him from her next devious plan. She looked lovingly into his eyes and began to lean in for a kiss, the boy completely oblivious to his lover reaching into the bag of flour behind her and slowly raising the contents above his head. Just as their lips were about to connect, Maria stopped and released a breathy laugh.  
"NOT!" she yelled, sprinting away – but not before she had let the white powder cascade over the boy's curly locks.  
"MARIA!"

* * *

 **a/n - Thank you for reading! This is going to be a two, possibly three, part story, so please R &R and feel free to give advice xx  
P.S. This is also a belated birthday gift for Bitofabritishgeek.**


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